S1:E3 - Electric Daisy Abandonment

Dear Diary (& Listeners),

You know how some people say, "God will never give you more than you can handle"?

After recording this episode, I found myself thinking about that phrase a lot.

The process of outlining my relationship with Dick for this podcast has been filled with sorrow, but it has also brought understanding.

There were so many painful moments I experienced during this time that had been subconsciously tucked away in a file cabinet in my mind. Unpacking those file cabinets feels like I am experiencing them again, for the first time, right along with you.

I probably have some of the same questions you all are having:

Why didn't I just let him leave for good?

How many times does Dick have to tell me he doesn't want to be with me before I actually believe him?

But the biggest question of them all is...

Why didn't leaving him ever cross my mind?

So, I did a little soul searching, and what I realized was heart-wrenching.

I subliminally laid everything I had at his feet: my money, my family, my love, my support, and my future. I continued to trust him even when he gave me every reason not to. I was scared not to trust. I was scared to lose the ONE thing I had left... Him.

God would never give me more than I can handle, right?

This week, you'll learn more about my proposal, wedding planning, and events leading up to the big day. We will uncover yet another Sugar Daddy, dissect the gambling more, and experience the worst abandonment up until this point in the story. You'll also begin to understand his explanation behind leaving, followed by our plan to fix the core problem.

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

 

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Music and Sound Production: Ashley England

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