S1:E4 - Promises, Panic & Poppers

Dear Diary (& Listeners),

I cried recording part of this episode. 

 

And it got me thinking...

Why did THIS episode make me cry?

What is it about my wedding that sparks the tears?

 

You’d think that reliving the abandonments, the emotional abuse, and all the other subpar efforts confused as love would make me sad...

 

I know the answer.

 

This episode didn’t make me cry because I was reflecting on that moment of my wedding ceremony. Tears started flowing in the studio because right then; I felt as if I may never get to experience such a meaningful moment again.

I felt hijacked. Such important meaningful moments, all hijacked by a human incapable of love and compassion.

 

The thing is...it’s all bullshit. We don’t just get ONE shot at happiness. We get as many as we give ourself. So this is me publicly throwing away the self-limiting doubts.

I finally feel happy again.
I know who Amanda Lynette Arnier is. 
I love that bad ass, resilient bitch. 
Someone will love me. 
Far better than I could ever imagine before.

 

In this episode you will join me for my beautiful wedding in Sedona, AZ. You will also spend an evening in the emergency room. Followed by a road trip to Colorado, Dick’s self-proclaimed LEAST FAVORITE state.

Be sure to share, like, and review. Your feedback and support mean everything.

 

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

 

If you have experienced anything similar and would like to be a guest on The Dichotomy Diaries, please email:

TheDichotomyDiaries@yahoo.com

Music and Sound Production: Ashley England

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