S1:E5 - Sergeant Steroids

NOTE: This episode's audio is less than desirable, but if you can make it through- I PROMISE Episode's 7 on are INCREDIBLE. I really taught myself all of the things. Please do not judge The Dichotomy Diaries based on this Episode's audio quality.

Dear Diary (& Listeners),

When I tell you I have had the busiest three weeks of my life. I am nowhere close to joking. 

You know, sitting back right now with my feet up on my desk and my hair up in a bun- I feel pretty damn accomplished. 

I did some shit I didn't even think I was capable of...

I just recorded, edited, and fully produced an entire podcast episode BY MY SELF!

I put myself out there to create new relationships with actual human people. I gritted my teeth through the discomfort of social anxiety and what I uncovered on the other side is so fucking special. 

(Not me basking in the new incredible friendships I have created)

Now you're probably like "Wait, Amanda...You're so extroverted. How could you possibly have social anxiety...?"

Let me let you in on a little secret. 

When you are alienated from everyone you love and continue to self isolate through healing- you straight up lose those skills. 

I'm also just going to be blatantly honest...

The trauma I endured while with Dick, made me develop an anxious speech pattern where I LONG PAUSE almost every time I speak, when asked a question. I also swear to (Non-Mormon) God, that I developed a stutter. 

This is what happens when you are so afraid of constantly saying the wrong thing. Walking on eggshells virtually every second of your life, does crazy shit to your brain. And when you have an immensely unique and complex brain, you need to socialize. Otherwise, you end up in a prison of your own thoughts. It wasn't very fun, but thankfully as you can hear- no more stutter and shorter pauses. WIN.

During this episode we dive DEEP into the World of Financial Domination. You will meet Jamie, a client of 9 years and begin to understand the "why" behind this secret fetish lifestyle that so many live behind closed doors. Join me as my two oldest friends and I explore all things FinDom in Episode 5, Sergeant Steroids.

 

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

 

If you have experienced anything similar and would like to be a guest on The Dichotomy Diaries, please email:

TheDichotomyDiaries@yahoo.com

Music: Ashley England

Sound Production: Amanda L. Arnier, MLS

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