S1:E6 - Vanished in Happy Jack

NOTE: This episode's audio is less than desirable, but if you can make it through- I PROMISE Episode's 7 on are INCREDIBLE. I really taught myself all of the things. Please do not judge The Dichotomy Diaries based on this Episode's audio quality.

Dear Diary (& Listeners),

There's a theme this week. 

We Teach People How To Treat Us.

And while yes, what I taught Dick our entire relationship was that he could walk all over me...

My lesson plan is a little different now. 

Boundaries are difficult for so many reasons. The scariest part for me always was that I meant well with them, but they were always perceived as mean, cruel, or selfish. 

We tend to fall into habits of letting people cross our boundaries to "keep the peace". But let's be honest, PEACE for who?

Episode 6 comes with a TRIGGER WARNING. This episode contains discussions about suicide ideations. Listener discretion is advised. If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, please seek help immediately. National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255) or your local crisis hotline.

This week you will sit with me some of the darkest times I've ever experienced. I'm not going to lie to you. This isn't something I share easily. I am embarrassed about it. However, just like everything else I am embarrassed of- I know it is something I have to get out of my soul. You will find that all of my fears and assumptions come true in this episode. My false sense of self-esteem comes shattering down. And just when you think the delulu can't get any worse...I sell all my belongings. 

 

Someone asked me this week if I am open to love again... 

I giggled.

I am love. I don't know any other way to be. 

 

And that is something I will never change about myself. We teach people how to treat us. So if we lead with love, chances are- we just might just end up finding that needle in the hay stack. 

 

Forever Speaking My Truth,

Amanda Arnier, MLS

 

If you have experienced anything similar and would like to be a guest on The Dichotomy Diaries, please email:

TheDichotomyDiaries@yahoo.com

Music: Ashley England

Production: Amanda L. Arnier, MLS

Interviewer: Cousin Riley

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